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I’m sitting here, stuck for something to write about, so I’ve decided to write about it.

It doesn’t matter if you are a leader, coach, homeworker or student, I’ll bet there have been times when you’ve been stuck about how to move forward with a project or with your things-to-do list. Perhaps you’re a bit distracted by something that happened at home that morning. Or maybe you’re facing a tough nut and haven’t yet had that eureka moment that will help crack it open.  Or maybe you’re just simply blocked, short of ideas and frustrated.

I know I’ve been there (many times), and what I’ve slowly discovered is that by tapping into these four behaviors, I’ve been able to get myself refocused and unstuck, allowing me to move forward toward what I want to achieve.

Here are four things I do to get myself going:

Just Start — It sounds simple, doesn’t it? But the fact is that you can’t get moving until you start to move.  It doesn’t always matter how or what you do; just begin by picking up a pen, contributing a thought, initiating a conversation. The rest will oftentimes follow. Just think to yourself: “Why not?” and “If not now, then when?” Sometimes just one step towards your “doing” will gain you the momentum you need.

Just Breathe — Sometimes, by taking the time to take a deep breath, getting in touch with what you are feeling and calming yourself, you can get clear about the one thing that might be getting in your way. Reflect upon and identify what might be getting you stuck. Is your inner critic questioning your original idea? Is there someone’s approval your trying to get? Taking that extra moment–changing your “space, place or pace”– can often release whatever’s blocking you.Try it in whatever way you feel comfortable. It’s really quite powerful.

Just Ask — Asking those whom we care about and whom we respect can provide us with a broader view and additional insights. Anais Nin once said that, “We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.” Sometimes we need to get out of our own way to see clearly. Allowing ourselves to detach from our own thinking and consider someone else’s perspective may give us the shift we need.

Just Walk – Taking time away can often open new ways of thinking. Take a walk, outside if possible.  Notice your surroundings, listen to nature, recharge your brain. We know that our brains need oxygen to function. That fabricated cubicle and formaldyhyde-laden carpeting may be clogging up the pathways to your eureka moment. I’ll bet that the unknown British chap who first coined “stop and smell the flowers” had this in mind.

Sometimes just one of these things will do the trick; other times it may be a combination, so feel free to pick and choose. Whatever helps you get yourself unstuck is fine. The point here is to take one step outside the space called “being stuck” and see what happens. My guess is that you’ll quickly find yourself back on track.

What have you tried that has helped you get unstuck?

Michael and I are about to head out for our annual vacation week in Port Clyde, Maine. We’ve been renting the Gable Ends cottage with our good friends Dave and Kathryn Dodge for the last five years; it’s become our “end of summer” time for reflecting on what has been and preparing for what will be. The cottage, designed and built in the early 1900s by architect Russell W. Porter, sits on the water’s edge and could have been plucked right out of Andersen’s Fairy Tales. The porch invites long, leisurely hours of reading and napping, and provides prime viewing of lobster boats, tourist charters and solo sailors.

Dave is an en plein air artist. His week mainly consists of setting up his easel, either  just off the porch facing the water or down the road along the rocks that bank  Marshall Point Lighthouse. (yes…that lighthouse. The one that Forrest Gump runs up  to, turns around and runs back from during his cross-country jog.)

Michael, Kathryn and I wile away the days with walks to the town’s general store or up to the lighthouse, with long, rich conversations and tall stacks of books. No pressure to do or go, just whatever nudges us in-the-moment.

The week is restorative and allows us to reconnect in a sustaining way, much differently than our often hurried phone calls and text messages that, although keeping us connected, lack the human touch that enriches our friendship.

I recently facilitated a design meeting for an upcoming leadership offsite. When the conversation began to explore a team-building activity for the agenda, strong opinions emerged about what they did not want. Some ideas were deemed uncomfortable; others were off-putting. (Phrases like “touchy-feely” were even batted about.)

I offered an alternate option. What if we didn’t “design” an activity, something that would be “played” and debriefed during the offsite. What if, instead, the team just spent more “off-time” together? We could carve out time on the  agenda to be together away from the meeting room, and to do something relaxing, fun and interesting. Since the team had established a goal to continue to deepen their relationships, why not just “hang out” with each other?

Ideas began to bounce around the room. Perhaps tour a local winery? Go to an aquarium? Play softball? The specific activity didn’t really matter; what was important was planning unplanned time, time without a set agenda or “learning” outcome, time together that will help enrich relationships.

I really believe that our work relationships, and our commitment to deepening those relationships, are foundational to both enjoying our work and being productive. Every time — bar none — that I facilitate a team-building workshop, the one piece of consistent and positive feedback that I receive focuses on the time the participants spend getting to know each other and learning about each other’s lives. I now always plan a time not to plan, leaving room for conversation and camaraderie. The restorative nature of those interactions sustains a generosity of spirit throughout the team that enables them to work better with each other when they go back to their offices.

Sometimes, it seems, having no purpose can be a purpose in itself–and a gateway to effective teams.  Have others had this experience?  When have you planned “not to plan?” What was that experience like?

A friend recently shared a story with me. It’s one some of you have probably heard before but it resonates so well with so many of my experiences that I thought it was worth sharing again.  It goes like this:

A young girl was learning how to cook and, on this particular day, watched her mother prepare a roast. Her mother seasoned the meat, trimmed the fat, cut off a slice on both ends of the roast, placed it into the roasting pan, and then put the roast into the oven to cook.

The girl asked her mother, “Mommy, why do you cut off slices of the roast before you cook it?” Her mother answered, “I don’t know, honey…that’s the way your grandmother prepared roasts.” The next time the girl saw her grandmother, she asked her about the roast preparation. “I don’t know”, said the grandmother, “that’s the way I learned from my mother.” At Christmas that year, when the girl’s great-grandmother (now 95 years old and still kind, smiling and gentle) was celebrating with the family, the girl asked her why she cuts a slice off each end of the roast before cooking it. “Well, said the great-grandmother, “when I was just starting to cook, I didn’t have a pan big enough for the roasts. So I cut off part of the roast so it would fit in the pan. So, I guess we’ve always done it that way!”

We’ve always done it that way.

How often have we heard those words? What possibilities have been missed because we’ve leaned into our previously “proven”, old and well-practiced ways?

I sometimes hear “we’ve always done it that way” from my clients. Often there are very good reasons for it; after all, many of the things we do over and over again we do because they work well and continue to add value. But once in a while it’s a good idea to challenge that assumption, and when I do, they can’t always explain why things are “done that way.” When invited to explore alternatives or new thinking, though, we can discover alternate ways to achieve what they set out to do – even beyond a well-practiced way.

Perhaps the great-grandmother had only that one pan to use way back then. And, perhaps over the years, the “cut-off-the-ends” procedure for preparing roasts served the family well and provided them with exactly what they set out to achieve – a roast for dinner. Perhaps we have well-developed, well-practiced procedures and processes that serve us well in our work, those that should be preserved over time.

What are we missing though? If a bigger pan was available, how different would the family’s roasting experience be? If we look beyond, “we’ve always done it that way”, what creative, new thinking and possibility might be available to us?

I’ve just begun a new endeavor.

Recently I received an invitation to join HR Communicator as a regular contributor.  HR Communicator, for those who don’t know, is a fantastic online resource for top stories and “must read” articles in our community.  Published by Ragan Communications and staffed by thoughtful experts from a variety of HR disciplines, it acts as a uniquely focused and readable resource for all of us and I am honored and proud to be part of it.  I strongly recommend that you explore what it can offer you at www.hrcommunicator.com.

What I did not at first realize, though, is how this opportunity provides a new and fresh perspective for me. Here’s why:

1.    I’m exploring and writing more frequently about issues and topics that are real and newsworthy for those within my client base — Sr. HR Leaders.

2.    I’m gaining more opportunity to learn from other HR Communicator contributors whose work and interests coincide with mine.

3.    I like new things so it’s given me a jolt, energizing me with a new perspective on what I do.

This got me thinking about my clients and how they frequently look for ways to energize their staffs. Sometimes day-to-day tasks and work can become mundane and stale. How might leaders jolt some energy into those days? Perhaps providing opportunities for brand new perspectives could be the key.

My good friend from Montana once gave me a dishtowel that was embroidered with a hiking boot and these words, “Change your shoes; Change your perspective.” Here are some “new shoes” to consider for a change in your employees’ perspectives:

1.    Have associates switch roles or tasks for a day or even an hour! What did they notice, learn, or appreciate about it?

2.    Provide opportunities for your employees to learn from other experts in their field — an industry association meeting or a visit to another company can open up new ways of thinking.

3.    Ask them! What would provide a jolt in their day, and make it different and new?

I’d be very interested in hearing what others think:  What energizes your day? How do you give yourself that “jolt” to refresh your own perspective?

And do visit the HR Communicator site. It’s a great resource for great ideas!

I’m planning a reorg.

It doesn’t have anything to do with my consulting customers or coaching clients and, while my husband might have a moment’s pause, I’m not planning on changing his job, either.  It’s the landscaping in the front yard that has gotten out of control.

About five years ago we decided to update the greenery and walkway at the front of the house.  When we bought the place there were a few large bushes and slate stepping stones that rose up a moderate rise to the front door.  We decided to put in a brick-and-stone walkway and add flowering plants.  Working with a local landscaper, we laid out what we wanted and just a few weeks later it was done.

It appeared a bit sad at first: we had put in quite a few plants (including peonies, sedums, hostas and tiger lilies), but they were quite small and it looked scrubby, with more empty mulched areas than I had envisioned.

Fast-forward five years and the only thing missing from the front jungle is Tarzan swinging on a vine.

So we looked around, both at what the front had become and where the rest of the property might do with a little sprucing up.  Those two enormous whatever-they-are’s?  Let’s move them across the driveway to the knoll.  The peonies, now looking like Atlas would have difficulty holding them aloft, should all go further down the driveway in that bare patch.  We can move this sedum over there, that azalea over there, and each will have more room to grow next summer.

When it came to my front yard, I did not lead well.  I gave too many opportunities, allowed too many choices and the result was a bit of chaos.  Each individual plant did very well but they had started to get in each other’s way while, off to one side, there were bare areas that needed more.  I realized that individual success doesn’t always equal team success; as a landscaping “leader” I had learned that lesson the hard way.  My plants needed to be in the right places, with the right amount of room around them, in order for the whole landscaping “team” to emerge the way I wanted it to.

What are some of the ways that you provide space for your team to grow?

Every summer at about this time I take a trip to visit my good friend, June, at her home in Montana.  It’s a ritual always filled with great food, great friendship and great conversation (along with a bit of hiking to work off the great food)! It’s my annual “clear the cobwebs” trip and I plan for it months in advance.

This year our plans shuffled a bit.  Normally we take a beautiful trek along the “Going to the Sun” road and head through the Flathead Valley through Logan Pass.  But this year there’s no getting through. Despite the fact that it’s early July and the weather is a glorious 80 degrees, the National Park snow removers are still fighting fifty foot snow drifts and blocked roads. They plow a certain distance, reach a wall of snow and turn around just in time to avoid another avalanche unerringly targeted at dismantling their previous efforts. It’s like a mountain-sized cat and mouse game; all the while vacationers and their families wait anxiously at the road’s starting gate wanting to get on with their vacation plans, drive up to the visitor’s center, take photos, buy their postcards and share a most beautiful part of our great land with those back home.

A story of best-laid plans, for sure.

I recently blogged about hearing Michael J. Fox speak at the annual SHRM conference as he described his personal journey with Parkinson’s.  His core message (as he described his experience and what lessons it offered for his acting and, ultimately his whole life) was “Don’t play the results. Live in the moment. Consider the possibilities life has to offer.”

As my friend and I awake each morning, sip our coffee on her patio, gaze at the Glacier mountain range and plan our day, we realize that we still don’t know if those plans will mean anything.  We may have to shift to alternate routes, driven by the stubborn snow. We consider possibilities, realize that we don’t need to “play the result” and we come up with an idea that offers a new view of the park – driving completely around it. A longer path, and one that will be a new experience for me.

This got me thinking about the way we often lead, how once a strategy is set we as leaders hold fast to that strategy and bristle at considering a different path, one that is new and possibly more interesting than the original. It is often in these alternate paths that new creativity, new ideas and new growth emerge.  Encouraging such paths is part of being a leader, and I work with my clients to explore as much as they can of these new and different ways.  How often do we offer our teams the opportunity to create a new and different journey rather than just “playing the result?”

I wish to dedicate today’s SHRM update to the fine people at the Hard Rock Cafe on Paradise Road.

It wasn’t my plan to visit their establishment twice, but when you leave your credit card behind nestled quietly in the vinyl guest check holder, you really don’t have any other option but to return.  It meant a morning’s panic, a call to Capital One, an extra cab ride ($30 round trip) and a missed session, but I did finally manage to retrieve it.

What has any of this to do with the conference? The Wednesday keynote featured Michael J. Fox, an inordinately talented and brave man who keeps making lemonade regardless of how many lemons life pelts him with.  In front of a packed audience of 14,000 he spoke calmly and eloquently about “playing the result,” what he calls it when you plan for an outcome and behave in a way that makes that outcome likely. He tells us that we shouldn‘t play the result but instead believe in the possibilities. “Don’t impose your story or script on others,” he reminds us.  “Celebrate the possibility in people.”

Looking back on my experience with the (temporarily) lost credit card, I realized that in my anxious state of mind I had automatically done everything that Fox warned us against.  I assumed that Capital One would be no help at all. I also assumed that the card was gone and that I would find hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars charged to my account.  I then assumed that, even if it hadn’t been used, the restaurant surely wouldn’t be able to find it–if they even cared to look.  Finally I assumed that my cab driver would be surly and would balk at waiting the few minutes it took me to run into the Hard Rock and check.

I was wrong on all counts: customer service at Capital One was excellent, the people at the Hard Rock had my card and were keeping it safe, and my cab driver gladly waited for me while I ran in to get it. (As a bonus he told me a great story about where old Las Vegas signs go to die. Really fascinating.)

I think we often let circumstances get the better of us and, when they do, we slip into bad habits.  As this conference ends and I head for home I’m going to keep Fox’s words in mind.  How often do we “play the result” impose our script on others?

After a full slate of conference sessions on Monday I’ve decided to break up Tuesday a bit, trading a session slot for a chance to visit the Strip. Having never been to Las Vegas before I wanted to see it at least once, and since the SHRM conference is several long blocks from Las Vegas Blvd. (at the Convention Center) and has a very full schedule, the only real opportunity would be across lunch and into the early afternoon.

First up, though, is today’s keynote from Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos.com and author of Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion and Purpose.  Hsieh talked about having the unique opportunity to build a culture from scratch, believing the right culture at the beginning is the key to ultimate success.  He chose customer service as his focus but stretched the concept to include a fully rounded customer experience.  Every new employee spends time in the call center, Hsieh told us.  This allows everyone to understand what the experience is like, a truly important step for building empathy for customers.

I also spent time in an excellent session on Strategic Planning run by Rich Horwath of the Strategic Thinking Institute.  Rich did a great job simplifying and clarifying basic strategic concepts, then rebuilt them into a solid and useful template based on his three disciplines: Acumen, Allocation and Action.  For a small business owner like myself, this straightforward approach will be very helpful.

Finally my friends and I headed for the part of Las Vegas that is…Vegas.  After spending a while walking around and sightseeing it became clear to me why so many people have a love/hate relationship with this city.  On the one hand there is incredible opulence wrapped into an over-the-top theme park environment, while on the other hand there is an undercurrent of unhappiness that sometimes emerges.  There are a lot of people out of work here; the unemployment rate is north of 12% and many have been hit hard.

What struck me most though, was how often the two worlds collided in just the short time I walked around. It got me thinking: how often do we, as leaders, only notice the good or the bad, but not how they intersect? They are both parts of the same people, the same company, the same culture wherever we go, and I think it’s important that we never ignore one in favor of the other if we’re to draw a true picture of our environments.  How have you seen both the positive and the negative come together with your companies and clients? Do leaders ignore one or the other, or do they embrace the complete picture?

By three o’clock I had hit the wall. Jet lag had come out to play and I was clearly losing the contest, feeling a bit like a hiker who had looked up at Mount Washington and said, “No problem!” while forgetting that the years had taken their toll. The heat was even worse than Weather.com had predicted, hitting 111. All of the above–including the fact that I was up at 4:30 in the morning–had conspired to wipe me out.

Fortunately, the sessions I attended today were interesting and motivating, so even with my exhaustion I am still very happy to be here.

Bob Kelleher, author of Louder than Words, gave a high-energy presentation on “The 10 Steps of Employee Engagement.”  His approach is one I agree with and have used with my own clients.  He suggests that employee engagement starts at both ends of the company: the top managers should live the engagement principle and the hiring managers should look for active engagement whenever they interview: the hires of today are often the leaders of tomorrow.  For a quick overview of his approach, take a look at his 10-minute video on YouTube.com: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHsB-cjyhzY

The highlight of the day, not surprisingly, was Arianna Huffington’s keynote address.  While she covered a number of important topics, my main takeaway was her reminder that we “find time to connect with ourselves and our own wisdom.” She added that as we work on workplace problems we should remember to “do it with more balance, more joy, more gratitude, more sleep and more wisdom.”

Wise words.  In my own work I strive for a strong balance between work and life, remembering that they are always a part of each other.  My target–as my website says–is to find the “space, place and pace” to live life to the fullest, both for myself and for others.

Headed off to SHRM’s annual conference yesterday. The day started well enough; bright skies suggested an on-time departure from Manchester into Las Vegas and I was not disappointed.  First though, I had to navigate the baggage check-in at the airport. Had I arrived a few minutes earlier I might have avoided the large group of kids heading off to ski camp, but no such luck. Exactly who planned a ski trip into Las Vegas in June remains a mystery–the temperatures in that part of the country are hovering above 100 degrees–but it was too early in the morning even to rouse the necessary level of curiosity required to ask the question.

Southwest remains a decent airline, though a single bag of Cheese-Nips for a 5-hour flight seems slight. Still, I had several interesting conversations with others on the plane; quite a few of us were heading to the conference.

When we deplaned, my first thought was “blast furnace.” Living in NH has made me forget what real heat is like. Combine that with the ringing of slot machines in the airport waiting area (this is Vegas, after all) and a rumbling stomach, and I was already exhausted.

I waited around for a bit until a friend of mine, Rosanne, arrived on her United flight out of Newark, then we shuttled to the Hilton to check in.  We arrived to find a long line snaking around the lobby, dozens and dozens of other conference attendees waiting to check in. A hasty call to my husband back home got me my Hilton Honors number (the one thing I forgot to bring!) and we were able to avoid the crowd and slip into the preferred check-in line.  We dropped our bags upstairs then headed back down for an overdue lunch.

Later that day we headed to the conference. The expected attendance of 14,000 meant that there were crowds everywhere.  We took a brief walk through the exposition hall but quickly realized that we’d need a plan to navigate our way around, so we left, heading over instead to the main hall where Richard Branson was about to give his keynote interview.  While it was a bit difficult to hear all that he was saying, his passion and dedication to the people in his many companies came through loud and clear. The man is truly a pioneer and an amazing leader.

With the three-hour time shift starting to catch up with me, I headed up earlier than planned to grab a good night’s sleep.  Tomorrow the sessions start in earnest and I’m quite excited.

For anyone interested, I (and many others) will be tweeting during the conference.  You can see my tweets by following @charneycoach.  General conferences tweets can be found by timelining #shrm11.

P.S.: Thanks to my husband for taking my rough notes and polishing them up for the blog!